Harry Potter and the Timeturner
by BewareOfMarauder
Summary: Harry Potter's life is changed irrevocably when Sirius Black comes back from the dead. An 8th Horcrux exists-A timeturner. One that gives Voldemort unimaginable power. Marauder Era. H/G, L/J, S/OC, R/OC, P/OC
1. Prologue: Yer Mom's Eyes

"_Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby. Yeh look a lot like yer dad, bet yeh've got yer mom's eyes."_

_-Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Chapter 4, p. 47_

The Muggles who lived in Grimmauld Place did not expect anything magical to happen in the small village in which they lived. In fact, only one resident of Grimmauld Place wanted anything of that sort to happen, but her story does not start until later. For now, the only magical thing happening was going on in a house that, by Muggle reckoning, did not exist. Number 12 Grimmauld Place had not been built, these Muggles say, only 11 and 13. A mistake, they continue, made by the contractor, or some other person, and then all talk ceases to exist about the happenings of this house. But, if you know where to look, you'll see that, cleverly situated so that only magical-folk can see, number 12 does, indeed, exist. And it is here that the beginning of the end starts.

Two men, if you could call them that, sat rather comfortably in number 12. One was rather stout, with messy blond hair and dull blue eyes that seemed to have seen too much of the world. The second could hardly be called human, was more snakelike, with no hair to speak of and dark, cold eyes. The conversation occurred, though they did not know it, 2 years before the death of the stout man.

"Wormtail," said the snakelike man. "I have come up with the only plan in which I can finally kill Harry Potter."

"Y-yes, my lord?" The stout man stuttered fearfully.

"To kill him before he was born." The snakelike man said in his high, keening voice.

"B-but how?" The stout man asked.

"To start," The snakelike man continued, "with his parents."

"But L-Lily and J-James are already dead!" The stout man squeaked.

"Here, and now, yes. The Ministry has began to create more and more powerful Timeturners. Ones that will help us considerably once we get a hold of them. And poor Mister Potter will be dead before he knows what hit him." The snakelike man cackled an awful high laugh that sent shivers down the stout man's spine.

Two years and two hundred miles away, a boy came into existence, tripped and fell. And a night from that, the boy called Harry Potter awoke with a start.


	2. Chapter 1: Armed and Extremely Dangerous

"_The public is warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous. A special hot line as been set up, and any sightings of Black should be reported immediately." _

_-Muggle reporter, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter three, p.16_

Sirius Black lay on the ground, panting. He stood up, and wobbled slightly. He looked down at himself and was surprised to see that he was not in his old body, but in a younger version of himself, the version he used in the place that is most commonly called heaven. The last thing he remembered was standing with Harry, Lily, James, and Remus in the clearing. Helping Harry prepare for his death. Harry…

"No!" Sirius yelled. As much as he cared for Harry and wanted him to be happy with his parents, he hated the thought of Harry dying. Harry did everything for everyone else, and never thought twice about himself.

Sirius wiped his eyes and thought about what James would do. Being alive was something unexpected, to say the least. This just wasn't how things worked. Once you were dead, you stayed dead, end of story. But then again, the circumstances of Sirius' death were unusual, and shrouded in mystery. _Stay calm, _James' voice filled Sirius' head, _Observe before you act. _Sirius looked around and was surprised to find himself at the site of his death. The Department of Mysteries.

"What now?" He whispered. He had no idea what had happened. Was Voldemort gone? Was there even still a war going on? He would go to Harry, but Harry was gone now. The Order was gone, too, most of it's members killed. His mind drifted to the Burrow, Ron's place, somewhere Remus had spent most of his time after Sirius had died. That's where Sirius would go.

Sirius reached into his cloak and pulled out his wand, and apparated to Molly's front door. He took a deep breath and got ready for the worst. Sirius reached out a tentative hand and knocked three times softly. The door wrenched open, and there was a blur of bushy brown hair and enveloped into a tight hug.

"Harry! Where have you been! You said that you and Ron would be back by-Wait a second, you're not Harry. Who are you?" Hermione took a step back and scrutinized him.

"Hermione! It's me! Sirius!" Sirius spoke desperately. He knew if Hermione pulled her wand on him, Sirius couldn't do the same to her.

"S-Sirius?" Her eyes brightened up, then froze. "But…You can't be here. You're dead and you look my age." She chewed on her lip.

"I don't know how, but I was flung out from the veil. You can ask me anything! My name is Sirius Orion Black, I have a younger brother Regulus Arcturus Black, who you recently found out was a Death Eater under the Imperius curse. I'm a convicted murderer, sent to Azkaban for 12 years for a crime I didn't commit. I'm an unregistered animagus, a large black dog whom you call Snuffles. I'm a creator of the Marauder's-" Halfway through his speech, Hermione enveloped him in a bone crushing hug.

"Sirius! You're back! I can't believe it! Harry's missed you so much…."

"Harry? But…he's dead. He died. I was there!" Hermione took a step back and frowned.

"We all thought he did. He was hit by the Avada Kadavra, but he somehow managed to come back. The blood Voldemort took from Harry anchored him to this universe, and he was able to pretend to be dead long enough to get the advantage. I don't know what you mean by you were there, that's got to be some dark magic…"

"Harry's alive!? Where is he?!" Sirius practically yelled.

"—And so Hermione said that she doesn't care what I wanted, our wedding colors would not be the Chudley Cannons colors. Honestly, it's like she doesn't even want to marry me." Ron said to Harry as they walked in. Harry opened his mouth to reply when he saw that not only was the living room of the Burrow occupied, it was by Hermione and…Sirius?

Sirius turned around at the interruption and saw Harry and Ron, who were both carrying movie popcorn and boxes of Muggle candy. "Harry!" Sirius shouted and tackled him, causing the two of them to fall down to the ground.

"Sirius! Get off, I can't breathe!" Harry choked, and Sirius got off of him, laughing. "How are you alive?" He asked as Sirius pulled him up.

"I should be asking the same question of you. Last I saw you, you were off to get yourself killed. By the way, has that bastard snuffed it yet?" Harry laughed.

"I'm sure Hermione's already explained how I came back much better then I could. Yes, I managed to kill Voldemort, and the wars over. In other news, Hermione and Ron are getting married next month."

"Really? Congrats, you two!" Sirius smiled, really smiled, and Harry noticed the emptiness that was always evident in the young man's eyes was gone, and Sirius looked his age. The floorboards creaked, and Ginny appeared. She rubbed her eyes sleepily, and she was in her pj's.

"Harry? Are you just getting back?" Ginny asked. "I thought you said the movie ended at midnight?"

Harry laughed. "No, I said that I was going to a midnight premiere." Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Same difference. Whose this?"

Sirius bowed. "Sirius Orion Black, at your service, Madame."

"Sirius…but you look so young! And you're supposed to be…" She trailed off and glanced at Hermione.

"We don't know. We're just kinda going with it for now."

"You learn to after a while when it comes to things where Dumbledore's concerned." Harry added.

"Ah. Well, it's nice to see you, Sirius, at—" Ginny glanced at a shiny golden watch on her wrist. "—2:42 in the morning." Sirius laughed, and nudged Harry.

"I like her. You've found yourself a good one, Harry."

"What's going on?" A quiet voice said from upstairs. Everyone turned to see George coming downstairs. Sirius' mind went to all the conversations he'd had with Fred about his twin, how lonely it was without him.

"Sirius has proved that nothing can keep a Marauder down, not even death." Harry said. Fred's face fell more so then it was before. "Look, George, I'm sorry…I didn't mean…"

"S'okay. I know what you're all thinking, anyway, that I should be over it by now."

"George, we weren't! We'd never! He was your best friend!" Hermione cried. "We couldn't ever imagine asking you to throw that away!"

George sighed, and grabbed a glass of chocolate milk from the kitchen. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just…Sirius, you know how I feel, don't you? When you lost James?"

"Of course I do. How could I not? I had about thirty dementors surrounding me, constantly reminding me of it."

George balked. "I couldn't imagine how bad that must have been, and I think this is bad."

"It is. Fred misses you too. He wouldn't play any pranks with us Marauders, no matter how much we urged him. 'Course it must be a little different for you. But he wanted you to live a full life, just as long as you never got old."

George smiled a small, somber smile. "I will."

"Ronald Weasly!" Everyone winced as Molly and Arthur came downstairs. "What are you all doing up at this hour!? You promised me you'd be in bed by one!" All the Weasly children winced.

"Molly, I'm sorry, I'm afraid I've caused a bit of a disturbance. But may I say you look lovely this morning?" Molly blushed.

"Sirius, what are you-wait, SIRIUS!?" She ran over and embraced Sirius in a motherly hug. "They said that this might happen, but we assumed…Oh, but it's wonderful to have you back, Sirius! You look a bit peaky, let's get you something to eat." Molly went into the kitchen and started bustling around preparing what appeared to be a large quantity of bacon, grits, toast, pancakes, and French toast.

"Is she cooking for me, or the whole neighborhood?" Sirius mumbled, making Harry snicker.

"What do you mean, 'They said this might happen?'" Hermione asked Molly.

"Dumbledore told us that it was possible that Sirius hadn't died, he'd simply been given a small respite from life, one that would end as soon as he was needed in life. But we assumed this would happen long after we all were dead, if at all."

"He never told me that." Harry said softly. He was hurt that his mentor had made it quite clear that Sirius had no chance of coming back, when he had never died in the first place.

"Harry, dear, don't be hurt by his actions. He didn't want to get your hopes up, and keep you pining after Sirius. If we told you he was only missing, you would never get over it. You'd just keep looking for him."

Harry nodded, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Dumbledore had never really trusted him, despite what Dumbledore had told him.

"Wait…but…why would we need Sirius now? Voldemort's dead. He couldn't come back, could he?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"No." Harry said. "Not unless…"

"Unless?" Hermione prompted.

"Unless if he made an eighth horcrux that we didn't know about." Everyone glanced at each other nervously.

"For the sake of the argument, what would happen if he did?" Sirius asked.

Harry thought back to his second year. "He'd have to possess someone and take their life."

"And then?"

"Then Voldemort would come back."


	3. Chapter 2: A Different Home

**A/N: So I bet you all have noticed some changes here, and I'd like to explain myself a little. I decided that Alex would NOT come back to the future because it wasn't in her character. I could imagine Alex running away, but not so far away that she couldn't see her best friends every once in a while, at a distance. Also, you'll notice that Alex now owns a BAR. **

**So, you're probably asking yourself, "Is this fanfiction Cannon?" **

**The answer? Yes. The only difference is that the Three Broomsticks is now called the Three Broomheads, and the owner isn't Madam Rosemerta, it's Alex. So just replace her whererever you read Madam Rosemerta in the books.**

**Also, you'll notice a familar character in Alex's bar, three guesses as to who this fictional character is. The only clue I'll give you is that the author of the series he's from has the initials JP.**

**

* * *

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"_I understand, of course, if you want to stay with your aunt and uncle. But…well…think about it. Once my name's cleared…if you wanted a…different home."_

_-Sirius Black. Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 20, p. 379_

Harry awoke early the next morning with a start. Breathing heavily, he tried to make sense of the dream he'd just had. The incident had happened nearly two years ago, but that didn't mean it wasn't important. Knowing Voldemort, he'd have used the time turner as a horcrux. Timeturners were tricky things, though, so who knows what will happen if he comes back?

Harry ran a shaky hand through his hair. If Voldemort had made the Timeturner a horcrux, then the war was far from over. Harry knew that the circumstances of the last time he defeated Voldemort were incredible, and he didn't want to go back to Dumbledore's grave to get the deathstick back. Which meant that Voldemort had a huge advantage.

He wanted more then anything to go back to get the Resurrection stone and talk to Dumbledore about it. Of course, it was never certain that Voldemort had created only seven horcuxes, but Dumbledore seemed so sure that he had, which made Harry believe it.

Suddenly, Harry was interrupted by a n ice cold bucket of water falling on his head, that would, had he been asleep, given him a rude awakening. As it was, Harry was not a happy camper.

"THE BIG SUN COMES UP!" Sirius came bounding into Harry's room. "The dew goes away. Good morning, good morning the little birds say!"

Harry rolled his eyes at his godfathers antics. His now teenage godfather was a lot more humorous and more prone to creating marauder mayhem. They were currently in their new flat in London. They were nearby the Leaky Cauldron, and often went to hang out at George's joke shop or go get ice cream. George was known to come and hang out with the two friends, and they were known to see Muggle movies together.

Ever since Ron had gotten engaged to Hermione, Harry felt a little like a third wheel in their small group of friends. Lately Ron and Hermione had taken to hanging out and discussing wedding plans together, giving Harry more and more time to miss Sirius, Remus, and oddly, even his parents.

When Sirius came back, Harry and Sirius became inseparable. They were making up for lost time when Sirius had been in Azkaban. They were now good, if not best, friends. Harry had become more like his father in his time with his godfather, in the sense that he had now discovered the magic of pranking.

"I'm already up, you dunce." Harry told Sirius with a whack upside the head. "Anyway, I've just had the freakiest dream." Harry went into an explanation of his dream.

"So you think that Voldemort made a Horcrux out of a incredibly powerful timeturner and now possesses insane timetraveling capabilities? That sounds like some strange yet predictable plot of a thirteen year old somewhere currently in Indiana!"

"Crap, there goes the fourth wall…" Muttered a passing petunia bush.

"Hey! My plot is _not _predictable." BewareOfMarauder said.

"It is too and you know it. Of course what's going to happen now is that Harry and possibly me are going to travel back in time to when I was at Hogwarts and Harry meets his parents and becomes incredibly conflicted on whether to tell James that Peter is a no good lying prat." Sirius explained.

"Okay, so maybe it is predictable. But don't go giving my plot out to the readers, or I'll kill you in some painful, nasty way."

"Point." Sirius said. "You were saying, Harry?"

Harry cleared his throat. "So, uh, anyway, I figured we should go down to the Ministry and check out the Timeturners there."

"Aw, we were supposed to prank Malfoy today. You promised!" Whined Sirius.

"All right, so you're going to make us put saving the world on hold just because you want to have a little fun with Malfoy and his son?" Harry said incredulously. "Since when were you so conceited?"

Sirius cocked his head to the side. "Concide-who?"

"Self-centered."

"Ah. Well, a wise girl once told me that if you don't stop to do something fun every once in a while, you'll become boring and old."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Who?"

Sirius looked uncomfortable. "Uh, no one."

"Now I _really _want to know."

Sirius sighed. "Look, I don't want to talk about it, okay?" He looked sad. A little resentful. It was the first time Harry had seen Sirius sad since he'd come back through the veil.

"Well…how about we grab some ice cream on the way to the Ministry?"

Ten minutes later, they had both gotten ice cream. Sirius had his favorite; Rocky Road, and Harry had his; Vanilla. They were on their way to the Ministry when Sirius spoke.

"Her name was Alexandra Rider." Sirius said quietly. Harry quirked an eyebrow.

"The wise girl?"

Sirius laughed. "Yeah. Though Remus and James were convinced she was anything but."

"Why?"

"She was in the Marauders. Became an animagus with the rest of us, and her form was an orange Kneazle. We called her Holly."

"Then why haven't I heard of her?" Harry asked. It seemed strange that he'd never heard of a marauder, or why a marauder wasn't on the map.

"Because…we dated for a long time. I think she might have been the only girl out of all the girls I dated who I actually loved. Then one day, out of the blue, in seventh year she told me she didn't love me anymore."

Harry frowned. "That doesn't make any sense. I guess I can see why Dad and Remus thought she was stupid."

"She wasn't. She helped make the Marauders Map. After she broke up with me, James wiped her name off the Map. Then the next day, she disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

"Gone. Like she'd never existed before. She was…unique to say the least. She always seemed to know what was going on, even before it happened."

Harry froze mid-lick. That sounded familiar… "What did she look like?"

"She was tall with really messy brown hair and hazel eyes. Until she changed her appearance to curly black hair and purple eyes in 5th year."

Harry swore. "I think I know why she disappeared. Or at least where she disappeared to."

"What do you mean?" Sirius nearly dropped his ice cream.

"I mean that the bartender of the Three Broomheads is a woman named Alex Rider."

"Oh." Sirius said quietly.

"And, well, I hate to say it, Padfoot, but I think that we need to talk to her. She knows a bunch about magic, and if anyone knows about timetravel, it's her. And…I have a feeling that's why Voldemort made the Horcrux out of a Timeturner. To timetravel." Harry's gaze went downward. "I can go find her myself, if you want."

"No, no. I'll come with. Where's the Three Broomheads?" Sirius said, setting his jaw.

"Hogsmeade." Harry said. "We can Apparate right up to her door, actually."

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Sirius asked.

Five minutes later, Sirius and Harry were standing outside the Three Broomheads.

"Only Alex would name her bar the Three Broomheads." Sirius said with a faint smile on his lips. "It's what she used to call me, James, and Remus whenever we were acting particularly stupid."

"Come on," Harry told him, and Sirius followed him into the pub. The bar was unusually quiet, and quite unlike the bustling pub Harry remembered from his Hogwarts years. A few people were scattered her and there, including one Hogwarts age boy with olive skin, dark eyes, and long black hair. He seemed to be troubled, if the number of empty glasses around him were any indicator, and he almost seemed to fade into the background. Alex was talking to him in a low voice, and he was shaking his head.

Harry and Sirius sat down at the bar, and a few moments later, Alex turned toward them.

"So what can I get you two?" She asked, almost automatically. Then she seemed to realize who it was. "Sirius?" She asked, looking like she'd just been slapped in the face, and dropping a mug she'd been cleaning. "_Repairo."_ She said, waving a wand and it fixed itself.

"You boys look like you've got a hell of a story to tell." She said finally, setting two mugs of butterbeer in front of them.

Harry nodded and jumped right into his story of Sirius coming back through the veil and the eighth Horcrux. Alex listened quietly, nodding every once in a while.

"Well, first you need to figure out when he is. You know that he's trying to kill you off when you can't defend yourself, so he could be anywhen, as long as you're vulnerable." She said slowly.

Harry and Sirius glanced at each other. They hadn't thought of that.

"Don't tell me you haven't put a thought to where they might be." Alex said, shaking her head.

"1977, maybe." Sirius spoke for the first time.

"How do you figure?" Harry asked.

"The best way to kill you off without fail is to make it so that you were never born, and I don't think that Voldemort's going to take any chances this time. And if Voldemort's going to kill your parents before they get together, it'd have to be our 7th year, because that's when they finally get together. If your parents don't get together and have you, other then the fact that it would totally suck for you, it'd mean that Neville would be the Boy-Who-Lived, and quite frankly, I don't think he's got it." Sirius explained.

"Understatement." Alex added.

"So, what do we do to travel back?" Harry asked.

"Well, it's actually really simple to timetravel, at least in theory. There are other methods, but because Sirius actually existed back then, this is probably the most simple. All you have to do is focus on a memory from that time. You don't need to have been there, so long as you can picture how it went through. I'd hold hands if I were you, so you don't get separated traveling through the fourth dimension." She told them.

Harry turned bright red. Sirius' mouth fell open. "You're kidding."

"Oh, honestly, you don't hate each other that much, now do you?"

"No." Harry mumbled.

"Good, then holding hands shouldn't be a problem. I wouldn't do it here, then, because this place wasn't being used back then. 1977…" Alex's eyes became distant. "That'd be the incident when we…erm…redecorated the Slytherin common room, now wouldn't it?"

Sirius laughed. "Is that still there?"

"Of course. I've been getting some grief from the Slytherins ever since I _came _to Hogwarts, and I never had any idea why until I went back in time!" Alex laughed, and Harry got the sense that this light, fluffly Alex was the way that she usually acted. Not the quiet, calculating Alex that he'd known for most of his life.

"So…we're going back to when we were decorating the common room?" Sirius asked.

"Hmm, you're right. That wouldn't work out. You'd ruin the prank by making our past selves freak out."

"What about that one prank we did to turn all the Slytherins robes pink?" Sirius asked.

"Hmm…true. That was at breakfast, so it probably wouldn't freak out too many people." Alex mused. "All right. Sirius remember that day, and Harry, just grab onto him and do your best to picture it."

Harry closed his eyes and tried to imagine that morning. It was kinda difficult and he had his mind wondering over to Ginny and something he was planning on asking her...

"Wait!" Harry snapped open his eyes. It was Alex who'd spoken.

"What now?" Sirius asked.

"I-uh-" Alex turned pink. "Sirius, you have to understand that I had a good reason to leave you. You mustn't try to change anything…"

"I know you had a good reason. You didn't love me anymore, and you were never one to hang onto a lost cause." Sirius said sadly.

Alex looked pained. "Yes…that's true. But I still wish-"

Harry tuned out the rest of the conversation and suddenly became very interested in his glass of butterbeer. He really didn't need to know all that much about Sirius' relationship with girls, or rather the lack thereof.

"All right, I promise." Sirius said some time later. He ran one of his hands through his hair as he said this, and though Alex didn't notice, Harry saw that he was crossing his pointer and middle fingers.

"Okay." Alex said. "Something's missing, though…Aha! I know!" Alex waved her wand over Sirius and Harry, and Harry felt tingly all over, as if his whole body was asleep.

"What did you do?" Harry asked.

"De-aged you both, just so that you looked like you'd be just starting 7th year."

"You pranked Slytherin in your first month of being back at Hogwarts?"

"First morning, actually."

Harry shook his head. "You guys are…"

"…Marauders?" Sirius finished.

"Actually, I was going for insane, but I guess it all amounts to the same thing." Harry frowned. "What about Sirius' past self?"

"Oh, he'll pretty much disappear. What actually happens is the two selves meld together, but basically Sirius' brain will go into his past selves' body."

"That makes no sense what-so-ever."

Alex shrugged. "Well, it doesn't have to. This isn't even a book, it's a _fanfiction._"

"True."

Alex pulled Harry and Sirius into a hug. "I'll see you two in a few years."

"More then a few." Harry mumbled. "Do me a favor and check in on the family and let them know where I am."

"Will do. Have fun with your parents. They're really awesome people. And…listen, I know you think your dad's a prat because of him acting that way towards Snivillus but he really just did it because he thought that Snivillus would end up with Lily if he didn't do something. I know it doesn't make that much sense, and Prongs would never admit it, even to himself, but he's a boy. A lot of the things he did never made sense."

Harry nodded. "I guess in a twisted sort of way it does…"

Harry grabbed onto Sirius' arm awkwardly and they both closed their eyes, and in a moment, they were gone.


	4. Chapter 3: Not supposed to change time

"'_No!' said Hermione in a terrified whisper. 'Don't you understand? We're breaking one of the most important wizarding laws! Nobody's supposed to change time, nobody! You heard what Dumbledore said, if we're seen—'"_

_Hermione Granger, Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 21: Hermione's secret, page 398_

Harry felt as if he were falling off of a particularly tall cliff. In his minds eye, he saw memories of his life. For a moment, he thought that he was dying. Something had gone wrong…Alex had been mistaken…Sirius' memory had been wrong or something else had happened. But then he noticed instead of starting with his birth, it started with recent events. He saw himself meet Sirius again, Hermione and Ron announce she was getting married, the last battle, what he assumed was his death…everything. Things started to get blurry and muffled, and Harry became aware that he was seeing Dumbledore carrying him to his house on Privet Drive and leaving him on the doorstep. He saw his mother placing him in his crib and begging Voldemort for mercy. Before then, his father and the other Marauders laughing as Harry stole his fathers wand and filled the house with candy. Even earlier memory's flashed past his mind, his father and mother seeing him for the first time, meeting Sirius and Remus and even Peter for the first time, until things went completely black.

Harry fell hard on cool ground. He groaned and opened his eyes, adjusted his glasses, and looked around. He was back at Hogwarts, on the grounds near Hagrid's hut. Harry stood up and took in a deep breath. He noticed something was different about the air. Like it was sweeter, almost. Cleaner.

"Ugh, I feel like I was just out for a night of heavy drinking with James and Peter." Sirius groaned, sitting up. "Hey, did you get the weird life-flashy thing? 'Cuz I thought that it was a bit weird that my mum actually cared about me for the first few months of my life—" He trailed off noticing Harry's expression.

"You plan to change things, don't you?" He said.

"Yeah." Harry said quietly.

Me too, kid." Sirius sighed. "Me too."

"So." Harry said. "If we want to change everything, then we're going to have to kill off Voldemort and his eight Horcruxes."

"Is it hard, killing Horcruxes?" Sirius asked.

"Well," Harry said. "I once broke into Gringotts, almost got buried alive by copies of cups, galleons, and swords, and escaped within an inch of my life on the back of a guard dragon."

"In that case, by all means, let's find all these Horry-duties and kill off Voldemort."

"Horcruxes." Harry corrected. "And we have to keep up in our classes at the same time. Or at least you do, because if you don't, then—"

"Harry," Sirius said. "Despite my devilishly good looks and surprisingly young figure, I am, in fact, 38 years old. I think I can manage to pass a few silly 7th year courses." Sirius got up and dusted off his pants. "Let's get this thing over with so that—" With that, Sirius abruptly disappeared.

Harry sighed. He'd forgotten about Sirius' past self and current self merging. He was probably squeezing the death out of his father or killing off Wormtail. Or possibly a combination of the two. Harry walked towards Hogwarts, and 10 minutes later he was walking into the Great Hall.

"Oi, Padfoot, what the hell?!" said a person who looked remarkably like Harry. James, for it could only be he, looked like a portrait of Harry. Very close features, but off in some way that was hard to describe, sort of like how some people can tell identical twins apart. James, however, had very dark hazel eyes, so dark they could be considered brown from a distance.

In this time, Remus looked much less weather-beaten, and definitely less worn from years of abuse from fellow wizards. His hair was a dark blonde color, and he had bright blue eyes, which, at the moment, were wide with worry. He was rather tall, about an inch and a half taller then James, and had glasses on. Why was he wearing glasses? The Remus he remembered never wore glasses. Maybe he had gotten contacts?

Peter had mouse brown hair, with a pointed nose, and was rather small and chubby. He was the type of guy who reminded Harry very much of Neville, only this boy was used to being the height of cool, just for hanging out with James and Sirius. He wondered if Peter had already started becoming a Deatheater, and if he knew that one day, he would betray the very thing he treasured most: his friends.

Harry shook his head over these musings, and observed the scene in front of him. Sirius was beating the hell out of Wormtail, meanwhile keeping a tight grip on Harry's father. Remus was trying his best to break the three apart.

Harry cleared his throat. Everybody ignored him. "Uh-guys?" Nothing. "HEY! OLD GUYS!" Everyone's head turned.

"Harry, two things: 1, NEVER interrupt your godfather while he's trying to beat the shit out of someone who pissed him off. I ate rats for you, remember? And 2, I am 38, which by is by no means, OLD! So, excuse me-" Sirius was interrupted by a stern voice that reminded Harry of Mrs. Weasley's. Harry flinched instinctively.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Harry winced as he recognized Alex's voice. He turned to see Alexandra Rider, who was looking just about exactly as she had when Harry had left, only this Alex was as pissed as he'd ever seen her. "AND SIRIUS ORION BLACK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

"Well, I don't know about this other bloke, but I'm pretty sure you know Sirius, I mean, you know him well enough to—" James started to say.

"James, don't make me start on you, too!" Alex said dangerously and James shut up. "You're supposed to be dead," she pointed at Sirius, who winced and dropped both James and Peter.

"I'd forgotten how scary she is when she gets angry..." He muttered to James, who nodded furiously in agreement.

"And you're supposed to be off looking for Horcruxes and killing Voldemort! I'd better hear some good explanations soon, or someone's about to be beaten so hard their _grandchildren _will feel it!" Alex glared at Harry and Sirius.

"What's a Horcrux?" Peter asked a wide-eyed Remus.

"Dark magic," he whispered back. "Very powerful dark magic."

"I already did all that crap, and then Sirius showed up, and we figured out about an eighth Horcrux-"

"A WHAT?! That's not supposed to happen! She never mentioned an eighth Horcrux! Aw shit, I bet it had something to do with me, crap..." Alex muttered. Harry didn't catch half of what she said, but he suspected Alex had been up to more time traveling then Harry knew about. "Do you at least know what the Horcrux is?"

"Yeah, a Timeturner."

"So that's why you're here."

"Yep." Harry said.

James and Peter looked questioningly at Remus, who said, "Some kind of object that allows one to travel through time. They haven't even finished making the prototypes yet, though..."

"Huh, well, as long as you don't change anything, I suppose it's all right..."

"Yes!" Sirius and Harry said and high fived one another. Getting past Alex was an obstacle neither of them expected, but they were glad to have passed it.

"And _no _beating up Peter. He may have done some things that you're upset about, but this boy is not the man who committed these crimes." Alex said. "Additionally, Harry, do _not _tell your parents you are here. There's a reason-"

"We already had that squared away with you before we left." Harry said and Sirius hit him hard in the gut. Alex widened her eyes.

"I'm...there in your time?" Alex looked as if she'd been slapped.

"Well, of course." Sirius said. "You can't expect you to just disappear, now can you?"

"But did I...am I...how old am I?" Alex said finally.

"That has been under debate for a long time."

"You don't know?" Alex looked like she'd been slapped. "I didn't stay?"

"Um-"

"I need some time alone." And just like that, she was gone.

"I was trying to not give anything away." Sirius said.

"I'd noticed."

"And I ended up-"

"Giving it away?"

"Yes."

"I don't think she knows everything. She just knows that she didn't stay here. But whatever happened, I think she'd have been upset." Harry said carefully, thinking about what Hermione would say if she had been there. "I mean, obviously, she wanted to stay here, but she knew that she couldn't, and it would cause a lot of heartbreak, so if you told her that she had stayed, she'd have the same reaction. And she didn't want to leave here, obviously, because of all the fun she had, or whatever. I also suspect that she was lying when she told you she didn't love you anymore, so you're another reason why she didn't want to leave."

"When did you get so smart about girls?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"When I found out my best friend was one."

Sirius blinked. "Hermione's gay?!"

"No," Harry said. "What would lead you to that conclusion?"

"Well, you just said that your best friend was a girl, right? Well, I'm pretty sure your best friend is Ron, so he must have undergone an operation to make him a girl, therefore making Hermione gay."

Harry smacked his face with his hand. "Of course that's it, Sirius." He said sarcastically.

"Hey, could someone please explain to me what's going on?" James asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Remus asked.

No," said Peter and James at the same time.

"Harry's from the future, and he told Sirius something about Peter that pissed him off. Your name is Harry, right?" Remus explained.

"Yes, Harry Longbottom." Harry came up with on the spot.

"Frank's kid?" James asked.

"Yeah." Harry wasn't looking at James.

James took a step back, and looked at Harry. "Ah, I see it now. You do look a little like Frank, and I can see a bit of Frank's mum in you, too. Sorry about your luck, mate." James said.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I can see it, too." Remus said. "Don't worry, we won't tell Frank or your mum about you."

"Thanks," Harry said, a lump in his throat.

"Well, we better get to class." Sirius said. "We have Defense Against the Dark Arts, don't we?"

"Yeah," Remus said. "We better get there fast, Professor White doesn't like it when we're late."

"Hey, you guys go ahead, I'm going to go _take care of something._" Harry looked at Sirius meaningfully.

"Oh, yeah, you go on and do that, we'll get to class."

Remus and James looked back and forth between Harry and Sirius. "All right..." They soon went off in the direction of the Defense room. Harry watched them leave, then went over to the picture of Barnibus the Barmy's tapestry. _I need a place to hide my book, I need a place to hide my book, I need a place to hide my book. _Harry then walked into the door that appeared. He spent about an hour and a half looking for the Diadem until he found it, grabbed it, and left the Room.

'Great, now what do I do with this?' Harry wondered. 'I suppose I could kill the basilisk again, and use it's venom to get rid of it, but I really don't want to have to do that again. This time I might not be as lucky...Hey, I wonder if I could get the snake to chew on all the Horcruxes, if I could, then I wouldn't even need to do anything in the way of destroying it, or any of the other Horcruxes.'

Harry walked over to the girl's bathroom on the second floor, and froze when he heard noises. 'It's probably just Moaning Myrtle,' Harry decided, and walked in. The effect was instantaneous.

"POTTER, GET OUT!" Shouted a very angry red head. "You arrogant-" Her words were lost among the other girls shrieks.

"Perv!"

"DUMBASS!"

"GO AWAY!"

"Sorry! Wrong door!" Harry said quickly and rushed out.

"Potter, what were you doing in the _girls_ bathroom?" Asked a drawling voice that reminded him of Draco Malfoy's. Harry turned to see Lucius Malfoy, proudly bearing a Slytherin prefects badge. Harry realized with a start that Lucius thought that Harry was James.

Harry thought quickly. "Well, Lucy,--" Lucius growled at the mention of Harry's new nickname for him. "--I was just in there snogging Granger, and, well, I think you can guess at what happened."

"Granger? Your new girlfriend? How come I never heard of her?"

"She's Muggleborn." Harry said, smug. Harry hated using Hermione's name instead of Ginny's, but Ginny was the first female Weasley to be born for many generations, and Malfoy wouldn't believe him, or worse, he would believe him and think that Harry had been snogging Ron's dad.

Lucius looked angry. Okay, that was a huge understatement. "If I catch you in the girls bathroom again, you'll be expelled before you can say 'sorry'. Do you understand, Potter?"

"Yes, Lucy Ma'am." Harry smirked.

"You're dead, Potter." Lucius snapped out his wand and aimed it at Harry, who brandished his own wand.

"Go ahead, Malfoy. I dare you." Harry sneered.

"Impedimenta!" Harry dodged the curse.

"Scourgify!" Harry called and pink soup bubbles streamed from Lucius' mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him—

"Protego!" The redhead Harry had seen in the bathroom had finished her business and had come out to find Harry and Lucius mid-duel. "I thought you said you were finished doing these things, Potter, and the next thing I know, you're peeping in the girls bathroom and hexing people behind my back! I promised I'd go to Hogsmeade with you, but only if you'd stop this business! What have you got to say for yourself, James?"

"Uh-" Harry glanced at Lucius, who was on the ground choking up soap, and grasping for his wand. "Expelliarmus!" Lucius was thrown back and hit the wall with a sickening crunch.

"Well!?" The redhead was still standing there. "Hold it, you're not James. Who are you?"

Shoot. "Uh…Elvendork…Rider." Yeah. That totally fits. "I'm Alex's brother."

The redhead raised an eyebrow. "Alex didn't tell me she had a brother." She said. "Let alone one that was unfortunately named."

"Alex doesn't like to talk much about her family. I have a feeling that she thinks that we're holding her back or something. At least that's what mum always says." Harry made up on the spot. "And I am sorry about the whole bathroom incident, I just transferred over here from Durmstrang, and I still find myself getting lost. That boy over there," Harry pointed at Malfoy. "Was making quips about my cousin, James, and well…I couldn't take it lying down, and the next thing I know, he whips out his wand, and…"

The girl shook her head. "No, it's all right, I understand. Why'd you transfer over from Durmstrang, anyway?"

"Oh, well…my Godfather died recently, and he was a professor there. He and I were pretty close. My mum thought it'd be best to move me over to be closer to my sister. I personally don't agree with her, but mums. What can you do? They always want you to be best friends with your siblings."

The girl laughed and nodded. "I know! My sister Petunia's the worst! She's always going on about how wizards are eternally damned, right in front of me! And mum just keeps on saying that I should try to get along, and she'll accept the fact that I'm a witch. I'm Lily Evans, by the way. The reason why I was so harsh on you earlier was that previously I didn't get along so well with your cousin James, and recently I decided to go to the next Hogsmeade trip with him, but pretty cautiously all the same. I guess you can figure out what happened."

"Yeah." Harry said, with the realization that he was looking at his teenage mother. "I can guess. Shouldn't you be in class, though?"

Lily turned pink. "Yes, but today Professor White is teaching us Truth and Dare, and she puts all of us under Vertiaserum so we can't lie, and I just _know_ she's going to make me do or say something really embarrassing."

"Lily Evans, skipping a class? Someone call the Ministry, the world must be ending." Sirius Black came into view.

Lily turned an even brighter shade of red. "I'm not skipping!"

"Oh, right." Sirius said, leaning against a wall. "You're just not going to class."

"Ugh, I'm going to class. Even Professor White isn't as bad as this!" Lily left in a huff.

"Girls," muttered Harry. "Oh, by the way, I'm Alex's brother, Elvendork."

Sirius burst into laughter. "Where did you come up with that one?"

"I don't even know." Harry laughed.

"Well, how you doing on those Horcruxes, Elf?" Sirius asked.

"I got one of them, and I was on my way to get rid of it, when I found out that the girls bathroom where the Basilisk is located is currently occupied."

"Wait, _what?_"

Harry sighed. "One of the ways to get ride of a Horcrux is to stab it with something covered in Basilisk venom, right? Well, the only Basilisk I know of right now is in the Chamber of Secrets—"

"Which is in a girls bathroom?" Sirius asked, incredulous.

"Well, either Salazar was incredibly smart, and he knew that no one would look there."

"Or?"

"He was a complete creeper and pervert."

"Who isn't these days?" muttered a girl coming out of the bathroom.

"Ah, well. You were saying?" Sirius said.

"Back in the future, the bathroom isn't used because of a ghost, Moaning Myrtle." Sirius snickered. "What?"

"Aw, come on. Salazar, a perv? Moaning Myrtle? You're kidding, right?"

Harry chucked. "I guess that is kind of funny."

"You were saying?"

"Oh, right. Anyway, the Chamber should have already been opened at this point, though. I mean, Lucius is graduating this year, and he was here when Voldemort was opening the Chamber, so shouldn't Moaning Myrtle be here already?"

"Hmm, odd."

"Very," Harry said.

"Well, I've never heard of Moaning Myrtle, so maybe she didn't start bugging students until recently?"

"But why not? She was disagreeable in life, why would she stay quiet in death?"

"Do I look like I know more then you do?" Sirius asked.

"No. I'm just sort of thinking aloud."

Suddenly, the room was filled with girlish shrieks and girls piled out of the bathroom.

"Great, Moaning Myrtle is back," complained one.

"I knew it was too good to be true." Said another.

"Excuse me, but what do you mean by 'back'?" Harry asked one who reminded him of Pavarti.

"Oh, there's this ghost in the bathroom, Moaning Myrtle. She made it impossible for anyone to use the bathroom, and she disappeared over the summer, and now she's _back._" The girl said disdainfully.

"Thanks," Harry told her.

"No problem." The girl left.

"There's your answer," Sirius said. "Now can we go to the secret Slytherin hideout?"

"Sure," Harry said and went into the bathroom, Sirius close behind.

"_Who_ are _you_?" Asked Moaning Myrtle, doing an excellent impression of the Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.

"Um," said Harry. "I'm Bathsheba, and this here's Wilberforce. We need to get to the Chamber of Secrets."

Myrtle blinked. "I'm having the strangest dream." She murmured. "Go ahead, weird people."

Harry walked up to the sink. He spoke two words in parsletongue, and at once the tap glowed with a brilliant white light and began to spin. Next second, the sink, in fact, sank, right out of sight, leaving a large pipe exposed, a pipe wide enough for a man to slide into.

"What did you say?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Open Sesame."

"Ah." Sirius said. "Well, you first, then."

"Oh, no. I opened up the door, so you get to go in first. Plus you're my godfather, so that makes it your job to risk your life first."

"What!?" Sirius exclaimed. "That _so _wasn't in the job description!"

"Well, too bad!" Harry pushed Sirius down the pipe.

"Ahhhh!" Sirius let out a stream of offenses, which stopped suddenly.

"Crap," He turned to Moaning Myrtle. "How much you wanna bet he's gotten himself petrified?"

"I'm not supposed to gamble." She said, and turned her nose up.

"Well!" Harry said and slid down the pipe.

It was just as bad as he remembered it. It was like rushing into an endless, dark, slimy slide. He could see more pipes brandishing off in all different directions, but none as large as the one he was currently on, which twisted and turned, sloping steeply downward, until the pipe leveled out and he shot out of the end with a wet thud, landing on the damp floor of a dark stone tunnel large enough to stand in. He turned and saw Sirius laying down on the floor with his tongue sticking out and his eyes closed. Harry leaned over and kicked him.

"Ow!" Exclaimed Sirius. "Why'd you kick me?"

"I dunno. Maybe for the same reason you were playing dead."

"You were mad because you pushed yourself down a dark, slimy, and potentially dangerous pipe of doom?"

"Of course."

"Oh." Said Sirius. "So, what now?"

"Um, we need to go looking for the snake—"

"I think I'm going crazy." Sirius interrupted. "Because I thought you just said that we need to go _looking _for the Basilisk."

"No, you're just as sane as I am."

"Somehow, that doesn't comfort me." Sirius said.

"We need to go ask it if it'll eat this." Harry held up the diadem.

"That's a Horcrux?" Sirius said skeptically.

"Yes,"

"Voldemort turned a _tiara _into a Horcrux? What a pansy."

"I'm in complete agreement here." Harry informed Sirius.

"Great, let's go." Sirius led the way to the main chamber, which was completely empty, except for—

"The diary!" Harry said, walking over and picking it up. "Great, two down, five more to go. Not counting myself."

"Wait, are you actually planning on killing yourself? Like, as a baby?" Sirius asked, incredulously.

"Well, only if Voldemort actually gets to my baby self, and turns me into a Horcrux. Then my own blood will ground my baby self to this universe and my baby self will be back before he knows it."

"Huh." Sirius said. "I didn't understand a word you just said."

"If Voldemort gets to my baby self, then yes, I'll kill myself, but I'll do it in a way so that I don't _actually _die."

"Oh, okay. Sounds good. Now where's that snake?"

"Oh, yeah, right. Here Snake-y, Snake-y." Harry looked at Sirius. "What?"

He shook his head. "I thought you were supposed to be speaking parsletongue."

"I _was._"

"No, you were speaking English."

"No, I'm pretty sure I know what language I was speaking—"

"_Yessss?_" Asked a curious voice.

"Don't look at it." Harry whispered.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Hey, um, Snake?" Harry hissed.

"_Yes?" _Harry shuddered. He could feel the cool breath of the beast, and every instinct in his body was telling him to look at the monster, and to run.

"Well, you see, there's these things called Horcruxes that are really dark magic, and they can only be destroyed by Basilisk venom, and I was wondering if you'd chew on any Horcruxes I brought you. I thought you'd prefer that to me killing you and using the venom against your will."

"_I do, thankssss. And yesss, anything to help a Speaker. Do you have any of these…Horcruxes with you?" _

"Yes, this crown and this diary." Harry told the snake, dropping both objects down a few feet in front of him. He heard the snake pick both up with its mouth and chew on both. There were two loud popping noises, but nothing else happened. Harry heard a gulp and knew the snake had swallowed both.

"Thanks," Harry said to the snake.

"_No problem. Next time you find more of those, let me know. They were actually pretty tasty. Goodbye, Speaker." _And the snake slithered off.

"That's it?" Sirius asked. "If destroying Horcruxes is this easy, I can't imagine it taking more then a week to get rid of the rest of them. How come it took you so long before?"

"Well," Harry said, his voice controlled. "I didn't _know _what the Horcruxes were, let along where they were, and I didn't have access to anything to destroy them with."

"Oh, right. So where are the others?"

"Well, we got rid of the diary and the diadem. We still have to get the ring, the locket, the cup, Nagini, and the Timeturner."

"Right. The locket's at my house, right? We can just head over there and get it whenever."

"Actually, no we can't."

"Why not?"

"Has Regulas died yet?"

Sirius searched his memories. "No. He dies in 1979, I believe."

"Okay, so what can we get _now_?"

"Hmm, the ring, probably. And the locket, as well as Nagini."

"How can we get Nagini?"

"Well, we just have to remember someone who was killed by Nagini, and find out when they died and just send off your dear Basilisk to eat the snake."

"True. But can you think of anyone?"

"Not at the moment, no."

"The only person I can think of is Arthur Weasley, and that's a long time from now."

"Oh, yeah. I remember that now."

"So, we'll go after the ring and the locket next week, and plan on going after Nagini after that."

"Sounds good, by why in a week?"

"James might get suspicious if your going out in the middle of the night without him, he'll be paying extra attention the next few weeks at night to see if I sneak out, see if I'm cut out for being a Marauder."

"That does sound like James..."

"We should be getting to class. I think we're missing lunch."

"Now _that _I could go for." Sirius said, and they both headed back to the Great Hall.

**(A/N) Pun Intended. **

**(A/N) Congrats if you caught that pun. Your mind is almost as dirty as mine. Almost. **


End file.
